She was in
Sobriety was a fair distance away and again I’m missing about 30 minutes of memory, presumably as I stumbled about uneventfully. Then my recollection returns and with it a feeling of joy as I recognised somewhere at last. I made my way confidently towards home as dawn threatened to break - nevertheless I was rather weary and upon seeing a bus I flagged it down. As it slowed I got out my wallet. Bugger! No ticket! No money! I’d lost my travel card on my journey and spent all my money on the £4 bottles of beer in the club. Thinking fast, I thought it best to flash my driving license at the bus driver as I hurriedly walked past – but it predictably failed and he called me back. I pled my case, but it was in vain. As I departed I asked if he would kindly tell me the quickest route to the place I live. He then proceeded to get slightly irate, accusing me of wasting his time (fair enough) but I pressed for an answer. He pointed behind him. What?! In fact the place I thought I recognised, wasn’t what I thought it was and the previous half hour had been spent walking in the wrong direction altogether. If the bus driver wasn’t paying attention (as they rarely do) I would have been on a one way trip back to central
As I retraced my steps, the sky lightened and my pace slowed. It was just after 5am, according to the timestamp of the text messages I was sending (informing mates of where I went), and I had managed to get back on track. Over the next hour I saw various shop keepers going about their business, road sweeps clearing up the mess of the night’s excess and odd looking folk, who appeared to have no reason to be up and about at such an hour – I suppose the same accusation could have been levelled at me. Eventually I rolled in the door at about , thoroughly knackered, with vomit-flecked shoes and a mouth that felt as dry as a Jacob’s cream cracker!
Over the past couple of years, both at home and university, there have been times when I’ve been recklessly drunk, miles from home having deserted my friends. Yet something from deep within, basic and instinctive kicks in. Like a primitive sat-nav system, my autopilot guides me home and keeps me out of trouble. Getting pissed is neither big nor clever, but the human mind’s self-preservation ability is fantastic.